It’s Just Football

It’s pretty easy to figure out after meeting me that I support the Auburn Tigers. In particular, Auburn football. My desk, my car and even myself has Auburn written all over it. My phone ring is the War Eagle fight song and I wear my Auburn clothes proudly on Fridays at work whether we are winning or losing. I love Auburn football period. But at the end of the day, it’s just football.

I wasn’t born in Alabama. In fact, I was born in the Hoosier state. My family moved to Alabama when I was four to take care of my grandmother after suffering many strokes. Growing up in Alabama wasn’t that bad as I have many friends to this day that I would do anything for. The only time we may have a disagreement is over football. You see, we take our football very seriously and you have to commit to a team early on. I remember the day that I chose to root for Auburn. Two words. Bo Jackson. A fan was born just like that. After junior college, I attended Auburn with plans to get my degree in criminal justice and thought I might attend law school some day. Even at Alabama. My senior year, my mother suffered a major stroke and since I was the oldest, it was my responsibility to take care of her. She lived in California and off I went. I never looked back.

Football has always been a part of my life and just like you, I get mad, I throw things. I bite my nails. A small heart attack every Saturday. Last night before I went to bed, a friend on Facebook who is a LSU fan posted an article about an Alabama fan that hung a sign saying “Finish What Katrina Started”. Wow! Did I read that right? There have been some awful rivalries in football (poisoning the Oaks), but in my opinion, this takes the cake. Doesn’t matter what the person intended. Perception is key and to insult an entire state based on a tragedy is the lowest of the low. I know this person doesn’t represent every Alabama fan out there or football fan for that matter. It just saddens me that this is where we are. Football used to be fun. Tailgating, drinking with friends, traditions, and a little jab here and there. What happened to that?

I love Auburn and always will. I will still watch football every Saturday in the fall and scream at the tv. But at the end of the day, it’s just football. I love my family and friends more. If you have to take supporting your team to a new level such as this young man did and not think about what your actions may cause, then maybe it’s time to support something else. War Eagle!

Knowing my age

So, I decided to to go out with a man from OkCupid that seemed ( and I use that word loosely) like a gentleman. Educated, smart , funny and….28 🙂 He wrote to me first and it didn’t suck. I thought why not? He is cute and what could be the harm in a drink? We met at a swanky bar and my first thought was that he was adorable. Cute in person, but short. Still taller than me 🙂 We had 2 drinks a piece, laughed and he asked me out again at the table. Great! He never mentioned the age difference or made a sarcastic comment about being “the cat lady”! Off to a great start!

Our second dinner date was at a sushi place that was secluded but really good. Thought I would be clever and order the Screaming Orgasm (Fresh Salmon, Asparagus, Cream Cheese, Green Onion, Krab, Avocado, Japanese mayo on top baked, no rice Spicy mayo, eel sauce). It was so delicious!! Had a great time again and yes, he asked me out again. He went to Boston for the weekend to visit family so we made plans for when he got back to eat and watch a movie at his place.

Our third date was at a wine bar and we had a great time again. The plan afterwards was for him to text me his address and I would meet him in a bit so he could stop and get some mixers. As I am sitting in my car, I received a text that reads “You are a very nice person and someone will be really luck to have you but the age difference is just too much for me”. Seriously?!? Can I say rejection dagger via text? I was expecting his address, not the dump! And to use my age of all excuses when he knew damn well how old I was in the beginning……men suck!

Listen, I get that there all kind of crafty ways to tell people how we feel or don’t feel, but I will respect you more if you tell me to my face. Stop hiding behind texts and FB and whatever else you feel is a way to be shady. God help the next person that has to deal with his cowardliness.

Love is awesome, dating is not

It seems as though I have been a little absent from my blog and my apologies for that. I have been active on dating profiles, but have not had a single decent man write to me. I kid you not when I say that an 18 year old emailed this week. 18!!!!!!! What in the world in this kid thinking? A male friend has asked if I thought this was flattering and all I could think was that it was gross. I had a 26 year old tell me that I looked so damn good that he would love to massage my feet and lick my toes. Seriously? Who in the world raised these men to talk to women like this? Is it that the internet screams say whatever you want? And an older gentleman thought he was giving me a compliment by telling me that I had nice boobs. Yep, that did it. I am in love. Insert serious sarcasm! I also get the nice emails from someone that I am not attracted too or would never go out with. It’s sweet, but also creepy when they keep writing thinking I will wake up and write them back someday. No, I do not write every man back. Who has time for that?

I miss the feeling of being with someone that makes you feel your best every day. I miss companionship and the feeling of butterflies. I miss the touch of a hand that sends electricity through you and the feeling of tickling when their breath hits your neck. I miss comfortable silences and holding hands. I miss love period. What I don’t care about is what it takes to get there. It’s not as simple as it once was. I have been in love and feel very lucky to have at had it at all. If it finds me again, great! Otherwise, I will keep doing my thing. It’s not so bad. I have a great family, awesome friends and love for myself. Not bad…….

What is up with the goatee?

So let it be known that for me personally….the goatee is out! I do not understand the phenomenon and why every single man that is matched with me on EHarmony has one. Can I go into my settings somewhere and pronounce that the goatee is dead to me? Stop matching me with the 55 year old bald men with goatees! Please! I beg you! And not only does it stop at goatees, but hair somewhere that is strategically placed on their chin somewhere. There is the chin strip, the chin curtain and my personal not-so-favorite…the soul patch. Better known as “I am a tool”. And what is up with the Balbo? It’s like a mustache with a soul patch and scruff? Confused 🙂 I like scruff also known as the sexy five o’clock shadow and the occasional short beard, but that little thing of hair that men have to meticulously keep up with day in and day out? Hair all over the damn sink and the tub! No thank you 😦

20 something men vs. 40 something women

What in the world is happening this week? First, I receive an online dating email from a 23 year old that is in town for spring training. He would like to satisfy his fantasy of being with an “older” woman as her boy toy for the day. Then, I receive another email off of the same site from a 24 year old wanting a relationship. I politely declined the offer to have the baseball player as a boy toy, but made sure he knew I was flattered. I posted the scenario on my FB page and received some pretty funny comments. I had some “Go for it!” to “Are you crazy?”. I would be lying if I said I didn’t consider it for a brief moment. I mean who wouldn’t? Okay maybe my dad, but seriously! It’s nice to be wanted even if it from a man almost half my age. Good lord…I could be his mother. Ewww!!!

I actually wrote back the 24 year old asking why he chose to write me. He told me that he was looking for a real relationship and that I was very attractive and seemed great. When I egged him a little more, he admitted he was looking for someone more experienced and “older” women have less drama in their life. I am not sure what planet he is from, but I would beg to differ. 24 year old women may be be more immature, but I doubt they have as much drama as a twice divorcee with 3 kids. Immaturity may be mistaken for drama, but it is completely different. Of course, that’s not me but you get the point. And why is it that men want more experienced, but it’s hard to understand how we got that experienced? Interesting question…….

I am always flattered when a younger man reaches out with interest, but I have my standards and I have no desire to even think about it for a second. Unless it’s a younger version of Hugh Jackman. Then I may just have to think about it…for a minute 🙂

Online Rejection

So I decided to jump ahead 10 years and enlighten you on my ongoing online dating journey. What I have noticed over the years is as I get older, so do the men that write to me. I also get multiple emails from 20 somethings. The 41 year old bachelor does not seem to exist. My dream of finding Mr. Right who has no children or never been married like me, is dwindling each day that I start up my computer and search.

What happened to the days of finding him across the room with that amazing smile and infectious laugh that allures you across said room? Online dating has taken the romance out of dating, but it also gives us a way to communicate without the fear of face to face rejection. I would be a millionaire if I made money on each rejection that I endured over the computer. Although a disappointment, it is much easier to take. You move on quickly. Part of me doesn’t want to make the “first move” to spare me the rejection pang, but if I am interested, I will write first. I still feel that if a man is interested, he will write first. I do not respond to “Hey” or “Was up”. Seriously, come up with something original! Those emails are mostly from the 20 somethings, which actually scares me since these are the boys that my friends children are dating The emails from the older crowd is their life story which is not asked for. Give me a sincere compliment with a “I’d love to get to know you” line. Tell me something about my profile that you actually read. My favorite is the great guy on paper that clearly did not read that I have cats as pets. His profile say he dislikes cats. Ouch!

As I continue my online journey, rejection is a way of life. I take a 50/50 chance when I write to someone first. It’s still a chance I am willing to take 🙂

The first date

I have to tell ya….my first online date was a complete disaster My date got completely hammered and made a complete ass of himself. I should have ran from online dating but…….

John and I talked for a couple of weeks before we actually met for our first date. It was Jackson’s in downtown Tampa and I remember being so excited. I bought a new outfit and washed my hair (that is a big deal!). We drove separately and met outside of the restaurant. From afar, he looked better than his pictures but something was off. By the time he was close, I realized he was about 5 inches or so shorter than he stated on his profile. After our intros, we sat down and ordered drinks. He proceeded to keep ordering drinks all throughout the actual dinner. I believe I lost count at 6. 6!!!! I have heard of nerves, but seriously! After dinner, he suggested that we go over to Channelside and hang out at Howl At The Moon. I knew that I should have declined, but……

We drove to his place to drop off our cars since it wasn’t far. Mine…91 BMW….His…2004 BMW. I will get to why this is important quick like. We walked to Channelside and this dude had another 6 drinks before I decided that I was done. Can we say drinking problem??? He was all over me in the bar and it was so gross 😦 I wanted to go home so bad. We walked back (or shall I say I walked, he stumbled) to his place and of course, I had to go to the bathroom. While I am in there, he decides to undress a little and pretty much attacks me once I come out. After I playfully reject him, he is ranting about how awesome his Coach brief case is and did I see his classy Coach belt? I was like…huh? He then tells me after I tell him that I am going home for the gazillion time, that I should drive his car home because it is better. Idiot!!!

He blew up my phone the next day to tell me how awesome I was and what a great time he had! What? Were we on the same date?!?!? No thank you…..My first online date. I seriously should have quit while I was ahead. But not me….my momma didn’t raise no quitter….

The beginning….

My first kiss was at 10 with Robert (I have changed the names to protect the innocent and unknowing) behind an arcade game at the local skating rink. It was gross but I did it. Peer pressure at 10!!! Crazy I know.

My first boyfriend happened to be Robert from kindergarten until 5th grade. It was inevitable that my first kiss would be with him. We would go fishing together and hold hands. It was a great relationship! No drama!!!! I had crushes on boys after that and “went steady” with some of them. There was Steve from 6th grade, Ray from 9th grade, then Trent (my first class ring!). There were others but I seriously can not remember all of them. I even wrote a song my junior year in high school about Sebastian. That was a hit at cheerleading tryouts 😦

I fell for Kyle at the tender age of 17. My first love as some call it and he was the cool, older guy that everyone loved. I had a couple of boyfriends after my relationship ended with Kyle, but my next long relationship was with Tim. Then there was Sam, the nurse that took care of my mother after she became ill. When I moved to Florida, I went out with some guys here and there, but my heart skipped a beat the minute that Adam came into my life. He was the one! Four great years together until I broke his heart. Honestly, I compare all men to him. There will never be another Adam, but many men could learn a thing or two from from him. Since Adam, my relationships have all failed (serves me right for breaking his heart :/) By the time I was 30, I had realized that I has always been in some type of relationship since I was 17. Dang! I needed to take a break and figure out who I was and live a little. Little did I realize that 11 years later, I would still be single and trying to figure out who I am.

The first online date….stay tuned 🙂

Hello single ladies over 40

Hello! This is my first attempt at writing anything other than a facebook post, dating profile or email 🙂 I realized that after trying online dating for 11 years without finding Mr. Right, that this is a story in itself and needs to be blogged about. I honestly think that calling it online dating is a joke. I spent more time cruising profiles than actual dating.

In the last 11 years, I have tried Plenty of Fish at least once or twice a year after completely deleting it after another bad date. Are you with me single ladies? I have tried Match.com at least once a year wishing that I could get all that money back with each failed attempt. My dad paid for a year of eHarmony 8 years ago after he lost his wife of 23 years and wanted me to find true love. Did not work. I have tried Chemistry.com, Zoosk, and Tinder among other things. Even met someone from myspace. Do you remember myspace? I seriously miss making my page. Anyhoo, I have literally tried them all including old school attempts at dating. Friend of a friend, co worker (will never do again! I have a rule now)  and the good ole’ fashion bar. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Now I am sounding like the Verizon commercial I have worked out for many years and have competed in some cool races. Do you think I have ever met a potential date at the gym? Tough Mudder? Nope.

So, before you ask “What is wrong with you?”, I must say that I think I am a great catch. I am single, never been married, no kids = no drama! Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that I am 41. I live a healthy lifestyle, enjoy all kinds of music, love outdoor adventures and couldn’t live without college football WAR EAGLE! I have great qualities which I will not bore you with, but I feel that two of my best are strength and independence. I have been told that I am intimidating and that most men probably believe that I am not single so they do not approach me. But what about online dating? Why is it so hard? Next time………..